Telltale Signs of ADHD, for Me

These signs were the beginning. Yes, the beginning of the end: the end to peace and the end to non-argumentative mornings. But more importantly, this was the beginning of a new understanding of how my son operates: why his behaviors and choices are different than others, the beginning of looking at him with a new set of eyes. These parental eyes cannot expect perfection. If perfection is what a parent of an ADHD child expects (or any parent for that matter) then more problems will only lie ahead.

"It's time to get ready for school," I say. Was he listening? Did he hear me? How about when I said it the second or third time? No, he's young and his attention span is immature still. I know he heard me, but why is he not doing what he is told? Now he is just making wrong choices and refusing to listen. Playing on the ground of the bathroom with cars is much more fun than brushing his teeth. Right?

"I continually have asked your son to sit in his seat and he will not do as he is told," his teacher tells me after school. This becomes a daily occurrence. "Your son got into a bit of a fight in the playground today," his teacher says sharply as she is apparently getting more aggravated with my child. The 3:00 hour rolls around, carpool time, and I pray every day for a good report. Worry is setting in on a daily basis.

Instructions were given by the coach on the field as to what the players should do. The coaches call "Foul!" and my child looks around continually, as if he doesn't know what happened. How can this be? Over and over again. Wasn't the game explained to him? Didn't he pay attention to what the coaches said?

Your heart hurts for your child. You want him to "get it." "Just please get it right this time son," you say to yourself every day. "Please realize how important it is to pay attention. Please know that your grades at school will suffer, your relationships will your friends will be more difficult. Please, just please, pay attention!" You say this again to yourself, you say it out loud. Nonetheless, it doesn't work. There are no improvements. Every day seems to be another day of constant battles. The battles are thrown on top of other battles, the hill seems insurmountable. You realize it might be time to talk to your doctor.

I was afraid at first. I was. I didn't want the outcome to be a positive diagnosis of ADHD. But it was, and now here we go. I quickly got my own prescription for a new set of Parental Eyes and a Bigger Heart.